Fathers

Fathers day is coming up. I don't think about my dad as much as I feel I should. He lives on the other side of the country (I live in California, he lives in Florida). Since my mother left him and we moved away 15 years ago I think I have seen him less than 20 times, most of those in the first 5 years. We talk sometimes, honestly the last few times he hasn't seemed drunk, which has been nice. But now I have got to thinking, I always talk about the ways he hurt me, about what he did wrong as a father, but what if in leaving and not making the effort to create\maintain a relationship I have hurt him more than he has ever hurt me? How do I know if I have been fair in how I have treated him? There is no independent objective observer, everyone that has observed what little communication we have had is going to be biased one way or the other.